


Starting New (PewdieCry BoyxBoy)

by alphonse18



Category: pewdiecry
Genre: BoyxBoy, Chaoticmonki - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PewdieCry - Freeform, Romance, Starting New, Sweden - Freeform, Yaoi, cry - Freeform, pewdiepie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-27 00:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphonse18/pseuds/alphonse18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cry decides to leave everything behind and go somewhere new. Completely new. To get away from Florida, and what happened. In Sweden he meets an outgoing, handsome Swede named Felix. And just when Cry thinks he's going to be okay, his past creeps back up on him and he can't cope. Will Felix be able to help? Or will the online gamer realize Cry has too much baggage to carry?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> BEFORE YOU READ WARNING:  
> This fanfiction will be SLASH- BoyxBoy action!  
> There WILL be lemons eventually.
> 
> Here is some things to let you know before you read:  
> \-- means page break.
> 
> the word Kronor shows up sometime in this chapter, and will continue to throughout various chapters. Kronor is the currency in Sweden. Whereas in America, we have Dollars. 
> 
> 'thinking' and 'thinking' I use both of these sometimes so keep a look out.
> 
> For something to listen to during this chapter(I always need inspiration from songs to keep the writing flow going.) go to rainymood.com I use this site ALL the time. Even though it isn't raining at the beginning of the chapter it does at the end.
> 
> Alright, let's read this mofo!

Chapter 1

 

You think dropping everything and moving across the world would be upsetting to someone. Having to leave behind family, friends and the home you've always known. Leaving behind everything you've ever known. Going to a place that's totally different than where you lived. Having to learn a new language to communicate better and learning the ways of the country.

 

Well, I'm not.

 

In fact that's the reason why I'm moving. To get away from everything and everyone. Don't worry; I'll save you the gruesome and gory details. You don't need to know, nor does anyone else.

 

So here I am, staring at the place I once called home, not even flinching, knowing I'm never coming back. The surprisingly cool weather for Florida makes me nervous as I gaze at the house. I turn and make my way towards the cab that's waiting to take me to the airport. Gladly, I didn't have a car to begin with so I don't have to worry about how to get it all the way to Sweden.

 

Yes, Sweden.

 

Why? I figured someplace new, totally new and different. Not just somewhere that is only a thousand miles away, but somewhere with a new everything. Language, government, currency, customs, and most importantly, people. 

 

The cab takes off once I tell him where I need to go. Not even sparing a backwards glance at the now empty house when the yellow car turns the corner, making it disappear from view.

 

I look down at the medium sized faded dark blue backpack that's resting in my lap. I don't need anything else; just some clothes, my phone, ipod and wallet. Everything else will be bought once I reach my new apartment in Gothenburg. I don't need a reminder of this place, or what happened, so I'm leaving everything besides bare essentials behind.

 

Sighing, I lean my head against the cold window and watch as my breath fogs that escapes from under my mask fog it up. Reaching a finger up, I draw two dots for eyes, and a straight line for the mouth. Just like my Cry mask.

 

I wear a mask, all the time. My mask is pure white. Not a single scratch or unwanted dent on it. The only color on my mask is a straight, deliberate, black line for the mouth. The eyeholes are a bit awkward, since you can see my eyes instead of a black material covering them. I only take it off if absolutely necessary. Like when I have to go through security when I get to the airport Besides that, I only take it off if absolutely necessary. Like when I have to go through security when I get to the airport. I'm not looking forward to it, but all I need to do is a quick flash before I enter the metal detectors to the guy taking tickets and it will be over.

 

I'm sweating just thinking about having to leave my only thing to keeps me at a distance from everyone else.

 

As for why I call it "Cry mask" is because I never give out my real name. I've learned that the hard way. I go by Cry, which is another reason for my heart to speed up and my breath to quicken at the thought of someone briefly glancing at my ID in the airport. Even that's too many people knowing.

 

'Just remember Cry, after going through the airport you will finally be in Sweden. It's worth showing your face and revealing your name for a brief second.' I remind myself to calm my raging nerves.

 

"Hey kid we're here."

I look up quickly out the window. Damn, I must have really been really deep in thought.  
Giving the balding cab driver a twenty before he can comment about my mask, I throw the car door open, carelessly toss the backpack over my right shoulder and slam the door shut.

 

Pushing the airport doors open and waiting in line to go through security since I only have a carry on, I feel the curious and freaked out stares from the people around me. I ignore them, which isn't hard considering I've worn my mask for...awhile.

 

Finally making it to the bored looking, bubble gum popping women receiving tickets and license, I hand them over. Judging by the stare she's giving me, I quickly pull my white mask up, just long enough to show her I'm not a suspicious person. Well, not suspicious enough to take down a plane and kill everyone inside it.

 

She reluctantly nods and I pull my mask down, very aware of the perspiration that's forming on my palms. She gives me my ticket and license back and I go to the next step, relieved to have that over.

 

After getting my backpack checked I sit down in my plane area, apprehensively waiting for it to start boarding so I can get the hell out of here. I brush my brown hair out of the front of the eye holes and remind myself to get a haircut once I get settled in my new apartment.

 

I once again ignore the stares and whispers around me and impatiently wait.

 

\--

 

Finally.

 

The screen above the entrance to the boarding dock to the plane flashes, notifying everyone the plane is now boarding.

 

Handing over the A-3 ticket to the lady standing there, I shuffle the backpack to my left shoulder and walk down the jet bridge to my only way out of here.

 

Once I'm in the plane I find A-3, luckily a window seat. I'm both excited and nervous to finally get out of America and into Sweden. Finally leaving that behind and starting anew. No one will know me, or have heard anything about me. I will be an insignificant person to Gothenburg. Just another human being to all the Swedes. Well one that always wears a mask…but that's not the point. The point is nothing will matter what happened in Florida.

 

I let out an excited gasp as the plane finally takes off. Staring out the small window and not sparing the person beside me a single glance. Pulling out my ipod I place the white headphones in my ears and put it on shuffle. Using the cold window as a pillow, albeit a hard, rough, freezing one, I close my eyes and let myself get a few hours' sleep before the plane lands. Hoping I don't continue my nightly routine of waking up and unintentionally scaring the shit out of the people around me due to my own freak out.

 

\--

 

I awake abruptly to a hand shaking my left shoulder.

 

"The plane has landed sir, you need to get off."

 

Surprised I can hear him I realize my earphones fell out and are now hanging down my light blue cardigan.

 

"Thanks." I mumble out and he nods, going back behind the curtain to the back of the plane. Grabbing my stuff I put the ipod back in my backpack and throw it over my shoulder. Stretching, I make my way off the plane and out of the jet bridge into the Sweden airport. It's raining and dark considering it's nighttime, but I've always loved the rain. It's…comforting in a way.

 

Taking in everything new, I head out the exit and haul another cab.  
My chest feels lighter and my head less foggy. I did it. I finally did it! No more Florida. I feel like crying tears of happiness to be rid of that hell hole. Everything is completely different than back there. It's busy and there are a lot of people but I can tell it will be better.

 

When one finally stops for me, I open the door and tell him the address. He nods and we're on our way. I smile and hug my arms around myself in hopes of warming up a little. Thunder booms in the sky and I take a moment to look out the window. The soft, steady, large drops of water cascading down the window lets me know I will like it here.  
It's very different than Florida, which is why I picked it.

 

Having already switched all of my money to kronor1 besides the twenty for the cab back in America, I hand him the appropriate amount when we arrive to my apartment. Grey, almost black clouds slowly move overhead, while the thunder storm shows no sign of passing any time soon.

 

I thank him and step out of the car. Grabbing my backpack and assessing the building. It's actually a complex full of small apartments. The building is a faded tan color, obviously not new, but well kept. Dozens of windows that are parallel to each other decorate the building. The wet sidewalk leading up to the complex is narrow and weeds are growing out some of the cracks. Bright lightning strikes and lights up the sky for a brief moment, followed by thunder, as I make my way towards the complex.

 

At that moment I don't care I'm soaking wet through my clothes and I'll most likely get a cold if I stand outside any longer. Everything is perfect.

 

I'm sure if anyone could see my face, they would think I'm insane, due to the very wide smile that refuses to leave my face.

 

"Home sweet Home."

 

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:   
> This is a BoyxBoy story that will eventually contain Pewdie and Cry getting it on! So if you don’t like bugger off! And those of you who purposely reading my story enjoy and please comment! This chapter will only contain swearing unfortunately. 
> 
> * means explanation at end of chapter!

Chapter Two

 

The apartment is smaller than my house back in Florida. Everything about it is the exact opposite. 

 

I already love it.

 

Everything is connected together like a big circle and only a few doors can close off the rooms to separate them. The living room is the first thing I see, along with a very small hall straight ahead that goes into the bedroom. Another small hall to the left of the front door goes into a run down, but homey looking kitchen. A table and two chairs are against the wall on the far side of the kitchen. To the right of the table in a very small room is a sink and a place to hang up clothes to the left, and by the sink is a door with a room that contains a toilet, and a cubicle looking shower with see through sliding doors. Through the sink/dresser room is the bedroom that is open to the living room. All the small rooms are already furnished with a little older but nice looking furniture. 

 

Taking off my worn grey converse at the door I set down my faded blue backpack on the black sturdy looking couch. Walking to the queen sized bed I lay down on the dark emerald green comforter, with my head on the surprisingly soft yet firm pillow. Staring at the white painted ceiling, I find patterns and shapes that won’t be the same if I look again. 

 

Sighing, I turn over on my right side and reach up to stroke the side of my white mask. Closing my eyes, I continue moving my finger up and down the smooth porcelain mask, finally feeling calm after revealing my face and name at the airport. I haven’t felt this calm since…

 

I clench my jaw and force myself to not think about it before I go into another episode. My nostrils flare and I squeeze my hands into fists, wiling away the sudden throbbing in my skull. Taking a few needed deep breaths, I try to wind myself down.

 

‘Come on Cry; don’t start your new life in Sweden with a horrifying episode. Remember, the doctor said he doesn’t know how much more stress you can take before you collapse….again.’ I reprimand myself soundlessly. That won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it. Letting my hands relax I sigh and try to ignore the pain that spikes in the back of my head. 

 

Moving to lie on my back again, the adrenaline from earlier starts to wear off and leaves me exhausted. Too tired to change out of my blue cardigan and form fitting faded jeans and take off my mask, I listen to the heavy, inconsistent rain drops hitting the window to my left. The last thing I hear is roaring thunder and let myself succumb to the terrifying nightmares that are predictable and not likely to go away anytime soon. 

 

\----

 

The sound of loud screaming jolts me awake and I’m surprised to figure out it wasn’t me who yelled. I’m suspicious, kind of on edge and I don’t know what’s going on. Stupidly, I decide to try to go back to sleep, but the sound of whimpering makes my heart pick up and start to race. What’s going on? Is someone hurt? 

 

As quietly as I can I get off the right side of the bed and tip toe to the wall, bringing my left ear closer and searching for more sound. All I’m met with is the roaring of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Sweat starts to form on my palms and I become paranoid. Was someone…killed? Shit, shit, what do I do?

 

Knowing I shouldn’t but already having made my mind up, I walk carefully to my front door and open it. Trying not to make any noise I shut it behind me and run a shaky hand through my too long brown hair. Turning to the right and walking a few quiet steps to the neighboring door in the barely light hall, I pause in front of it. Standing there a couple of uneasy seconds, I look down to dark blue and black socks to steel my nerves. Looking back up I swallow heavily and cautiously reach a white knuckled fist to the door and finally knock. 

 

When no one comes, my eyes go wide and I start to tremble a little. Fuck. 

 

I’m about to run back to my room when the light brown door creaks open. Taking in a shaky breath I look wide eyed, prepared to bolt incase shit goes bad. But what I expect to happen and what actually happens throws me off for a second. 

 

A smiling Swede stands beside the open door. His smile is quickly replaced with a frown when he sees the state I’m in. 

 

“Är du okej?*” His boyish voice breaks me out of my fear induced trance.

 

“I-I..I heard screaming…a-and…” Damnit. Real smooth Cry. 

 

“Ah, I was playing a horror game on my computer and a fucking jump scare got me.” He looks away sheepishly and rubs his neck with his hand. 

 

“Oh.” I release a relieved breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My shoulders slump from their tense position and I bring a hand to my masked forehead to push back some hair. 

 

A smile once again graces his stubbled face and he offers me his hand in greeting.

 

“You’re new to the complex right? My name is Felix Kjellberg.”

 

I don’t take his hand and back up a half step but still offer him my name.

 

“Yeah, I am and my name is Cry.” 

 

Confusion mars Felix’s expression but he doesn’t push it. Returning his hand to his side he continues,” I’m glad someone finally moved in. It’s been kind of lonely since I’m the only one living on the first floor. Well, was the only one. I do have videogames to keep me company, but a new friend to hang out with would be awesome!” His ice blue eyes are hopeful and bright. This guy’s practically radiating enthusiasm. 

 

Staying quiet I shift from one foot to the other and put my left arm behind my back and grab my right one just below my elbow. 

 

“Ah yeah, I’m glad I moved in to.” I finish quietly and look down at my mix-matched sock covered feet, my toes beginning to feel numb on the tiled floor. Which isn’t surprising since it is mid-November. I ignore Felix’s last statement. I haven’t had a friend for….awhile. I’m not too sure if I’m even capable of being a…friend. 

 

The blonde Swede doesn’t sound deterred by my lack of enthusiasm. “Your accent sounds American**, are you going to go college here next semester?” I look back up at him. Having to raise my head a bit to see him since he looks about 5”10’ and I’m only 5”5’ ½. 

 

“Not…exactly.” I reluctantly state, “I did just move here from Florida, but not for college.”

 

Felix’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, or maybe something else I can’t identify. I haven’t fully interacted with people since…. I shake my head to dispel the thought. 

 

It’s quiet for a few seconds as he figures out what to say. I don’t blame him; I’m not that easy to talk to. Lightning strikes, lighting up the dim hall and enhancing his features. His ice blue eyes are bright and full of life. His dirty blonde hair falling over the right side of his forehead, carelessly tossed there. Thunder booms and the light is gone leaving the hall dim once again. I look away and put my arms back down at my sides. I decide to break the awkward silence.

 

“Um, it was nice meeting you, but I need to go.” I start to turn and walk the few steps to my door when a strong hand gently clasps the inside of my left upper arm. I tense, not used to human contact. No that’s a lie, just not good contact. 

 

Felix notices and let’s go before hurriedly saying, “Hey, you’re new to Sweden so… maybe I could show you around?”

 

I turn my mask covered face towards his hopeful one. Should I? He doesn’t seem suspicious. But should I take the chance. Last time….

 

“Okay” I say quietly, brushing off the last terrifying thought. I meet his eyes with my own and am almost blinded by how excited he looks. His eyes sparkling with so much emotion, I tend to lack. Not purposely. 

 

“Sweet! Let’s go out today. The rain is supposed to stop really soon.” Today? Isn’t it still in the middle of the night?

 

“What time is it?” I ask. I hadn’t slept that long, had I? Felix takes his phone out of his faded light jean pocket and reads,” 7:33 am” Seven thirty three am? I arrived at the complex about Eleven PM. Holy shit, that’s the longest I’ve slept since…it. ‘Maybe I’m finally getting better?’ I can’t stop the hopeful tone that creeps into my thoughts. 

 

I realize I haven’t replied to the blonde and now he’s staring at me with a hint of something once again I can’t place a name to. “Thanks”

 

“No problem. I just need to take a shower and then we can leave. If that’s alright with you?” 

 

“That’s…fine.” 

 

Felix smiles once more and says, “Cool, see you soon Bro!” He happily turns around and disappears behind the door to his apartment. 

 

I stand there on the freezing floor in the dim lit hall for a couple of seconds. I don’t know if I should be happy about what just happened, or terrified with all the bad things that could happen. Just because he seems like a nice person doesn’t mean he actually is. Just take what occurred last ti-. 

 

No.

 

I refuse to think about it. 

 

I take a shuddering breath and finally make my way towards my apartment door. Closing the door behind me I sink onto the comfortable but worn black couch. I’ve been alone for a long time. Ever since it. Maybe finally interacting with someone, even just a little bit, will be good. 

 

Half-hearted smiling, I haul myself up and head towards the shower to get the last smells of Florida off me. And hopefully the last of Florida itself from my mind.

 

END CHAPTER TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *”Are you okay?”   
> **Even though Americans tend to think they don’t have accents (besides to southerners) we actually do. Well, to every other country in the world. Just think, when someone from Sweden or Germany is in their country, they don’t have accents. Only when they go into other countries with different accents(i.e. different languages.)


	3. Chapter Three

**“memories”**

_“thinking”_

((translations))

 *   means there’s an explanation at the end of the chapter.

 

 

 

Chapter Three

 

 

The shower turns out to be a bad idea.

 

The water is freezing cold, and no matter how many times I turn the knob all the way to the red little ‘H,’ it never warms. “Damnit,” I grumble. Deciding to deal with the cold water, I quickly wash my hair and body. After that long ass plane ride I really do need a shower.

 

Turning off the freezing water, I slide open the shower curtain and step out as my skin rises in chilled goose bumps. Grabbing a towel, I dry off as quickly as possible to get into some warm clothes. Walking out of the freezing bathroom I open my backpack sitting on the dark comforter. Taking out the only other outfit I brought with me, I quickly put on new boxers, dark wash jeans and an emerald colored hoodie and shove my wallet into my pocket.

 

Once I’m done, I reach for my Cry mask sitting innocently on the nightstand. My hand falters as I stare into the empty eye holes. For an instant, I swear they flash a menacing blue. Gasping, I quickly take a step back, and let my now trembling hand fall to my side, and squeeze my eyes shut tightly. I take some uneven deep breaths, hoping to calm my racing heart.

 

Finally calm enough, I reopen my eyes slowly, avoiding the vacant eyes of the mask. Snatching up the porcelain thing, I hastily tie the strings in a small bow at the back of my head, ignoring the wet strands. Adjusting the white mask to a more comfortable position, I breathe a sigh of relief. _Finally._ I always feel incomplete without it. Like a part of me is missing.

 

At first, it was very unsettling. Wearing the smooth, unmarked thing, but now, I don’t think I could function without it.

 

Hearing a knock at the door, I push my feet into my grey converse and messily tie them and straighten up, walking to the door. Taking a needed deep breath, I slowly open the door. The same smile from twenty minutes ago is still in place, like he hasn’t lost that cheerful, bright feeling that seems to be just out of my reach. There are fleeting moments of happiness. But then I remember _it_ and the feeling is squashed with guilt.  

 

God, I’m having a fucking self-pity party, I think bitterly.

 

“-ello? Cry! Anybody home?” His hand waving in front of my mask interrupts my disgusted musings. Flinching back by the unexpected closeness, my eyes focus back on the concerned blonde, and I apologize quickly.

 

“Sorry, I space out a lot.” It’s not like I’m _scared_ he’ll do something. I just haven’t had much contact with people. Be it physical or verbal. I - I don’t even know _why_ anymore. I just, _stopped_. I mean, there is a root to the problem, but what could I have done?

 

“It’s alright Bro, no worries.” His honest ice blue eyes pin me to my spot, making me squeamish by the raw emotion in them. Looking off to the side, suddenly uncomfortable, I see a shiny black hook next to the door, with a single pristine silver key hanging on it. That must be the key to the apartment.  I must have been too distracted to forget my only way in. Grabbing it, I stuff it in my front jean pocket and look back to the patiently waiting Swede.

 

“I’m ready.” Turning the lock on the doorknob, I follow the taller male out into the now less dim hallway. Glancing out the window at the end of the hall near the blonde’s apartment I think, “ _Hmm, Felix was right, it stopped raining. I can actually see the sky now.”_ Though it’s not sunny just yet, _“because it’s so early”,_ I remind myself, some clouds still cover the sky, though they’ve lessened in their dark color.

 

“See, told you it would stop. It does that a lot here. The weather shifts so suddenly. But when it rains, or snows, it does stay for a while.”

 

Walking down the now light hallway I share, “I love the rain.”

 

His smile returns full force, and I swear you can blind someone with how happy he looks. His teeth are shining brightly, reflecting the light in his eyes. “Really? I’m more of a sunny kind of guy, but the rain is great to.” Only making a small hum as an answer, we reach the door of the complex, and Felix grasps the door handle and opens the white door, leaving it open for me and brushes his dirty blonde fringe out of the way of his right eye.

 

His ice blue eyes slide from the view outside to me. His arm outstretched, holding the door open, waiting. “ _Waiting for wha-,”_ My eyes widen behind the porcelain mask. _“Is he holding the door open for me?”_

 

Staring wide eyed at him, his smile dims a little, but he holds the same position.

 

“Come on Bro, my arm’s getting tired. You know I need that for my computer gaming right? A lot of fans are counting on me. So if I pull something, it will be your fault.” His smile turns from innocent to a teasing grin.  

 

“U-um…”   Snapping out of my confused state, I walk a little faster than normal and look anywhere but at his teasing expression. Shuffling my feet, I walk awkwardly past Felix. I rub the back of my neck in a nervous gesture and sneak a peek at the blonde. He’s looking up at the sky, and I take the chance to get a good look at him.

 

Stubble is apparent on his tan face, and his hair is somewhat falling to cover right eye. His nose isn’t too small or too wide, the perfect shape to complement his high cheekbones. Dark eyebrows that aren’t too thick and lips that aren’t too pink.

 

Taking a quick glance to make sure he isn’t looking, I continue, though a stray thought crosses through my mind that I’m staring far too long than I should be.

 

A light blue scarf sits around his neck accompanied by a black jacket and white tshirt. Dark blue jeans that are a little on the tight side hug his hips and I glance away, feeling my cheeks heat up.

 

_Stupid! What are you doing?_ I think, speeding up my pace and ignoring the cold wind that passes through my damp hair. I probably should have dried it better...

 

Bringing my right hand up to my coffee colored hair I finger a strand. It really needs to be cut. The messy strands fall as I pass my fingers through them, landing just short of my shoulders. Looking up at the sky, my eyes widen.

 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” remarks Felix. It sounds more like a statement than a question.

 

Orange paints the blue sky as though someone took great care with each stroke, paying special attention on blending yellow and just a touch of red in various places, and entwining them with each ray of orange. Stark white clouds litter the sky, changing shape and texture every so often.

 

“Yeah, it really is.” I agree, my voice raspy and deep. For some reason I feel relieved at the sight of it. My first sunrise in a new place. Somehow, Sweden makes it look ten times better than Florida ever could.

 

I knew picking Sweden was the right choice.

 

**“You know, that’s where I want to live one day.”**

 

Releasing a startled breath, I bury the memory deep down inside, ignoring how much it hurts.

 

After taking in the sunrise, we continue walking, passing a few people here and there on the sidewalk. Though I usually don’t even pay attention to the freaked out stares, I can’t help but notice the Swedes lack of wariness and confusion. It’s as if seeing a man in a mask is an everyday occurrence.

 

Maybe it’s a foreign/culture thing? Some of America is still quite close minded about most things that goes against the norm of society. Shrugging it off, Felix and I cross the street after someone in a red car waves to us, signaling that we can go.

 

We enter a plaza that is surprisingly bustling with people at this early of an hour. The buildings make a square shape with the side we’re on open, and they’re all made of the same color of cobblestone brick. In total, there are probably ten or twelve shops in the plaza, each looking just as welcoming and friendly as the rest.

 

The smell of freshly baked bread and coffee drifts from one of the shops and my stomach releases a loud groan.

 

“Haha, good thing we’re here! I’m starving too.” Felix looks excited and I can’t help the small smile that claims my lips. He’s looks like an exuberant little kid when he acts like that. And I’ve always had a soft spot for kids.

 

Letting him take the lead, we walk to one of the shops on the left, the one with the delicious smells coming from it. Despite the morning coolness, the door is propped open by a welcome sign but when we walk inside, it’s warm and cozy looking.

 

It’s a relatively small bakery, but looks like it could accommodate quite a few people inside. Warm, earthy tones decorate the walls and decor, giving the place a homey feel. A brick fireplace sits to the right with its fire crackling brightly.

 

“Felix! Hur mår du? Och vem är detta?” ((How are you? And who is this?)) An elderly woman asks, flour smudged on her cheek and her white hair tucked in a bun, though a few strands seemed to have come loose in the process of baking goods.

 

“Jag är bra! Det här är Cry, min nya granne. Han är från The States.” ((I am great! This is Cry, my new neighbor. He’s from The States.))

 

“Åh, är han bedårande! Vad en söt mask!” ((Oh, he is adorable! What a cute mask!)) The woman claps her hands together and smiles at me.

 

“Tror jag också.” ((I think so too.)) Says the blonde with an amused grin.

 

Blushing, I sputter, “Jag är inte bedårande!” ((I am not adorable!))

 

“Y-you speak Swedish?!” It looks like Felix was the one who just got complimented, with his tan cheeks flushing red, and not me.

 

The kind woman just laughs when I shrug in answer and she switches to English. “Well darling, most Americans don’t learn our language when they study or visit here since most Swedes know English.* Which is probably why Felix is so flustered.” Amusement swims through her deep brown eyes as she observes the blonde.

 

My stomach decides to make itself known once more and it’s my turn to flush as I hurriedly place my hand over it, willing it to shut up.

 

“Oh! I’ll get you some food right away, I hope pannkakor ****** are okay? Just sit down and make yourself comfortable.” She runs off toward the back, disappearing behind an open doorway to which I assume is the kitchen, her frilly apron bouncing.

 

Felix and I stand in silence. Me not knowing what to say, and Felix still looking quite embarrassed. Clearing his throat, the gamer sits at one of the tables and gestures me to do the same.

 

The crème colored chair is comfortable and I settle into it, surprised when the blonde asks, “So why did you learn Swedish?”

 

My eyebrows crease and my chest throbs deeply. Before I can stop myself I mutter, “My brother.” But at the same time a loud bang comes from the kitchen and we both hear the older woman swearing in Swedish.

 

“Huh? What did you say, Cry?” Felix asks.

 

“It’s...it’s a very interesting language.” I quickly lie.

 

We both know I dodged the question but Felix doesn’t push it, which I’m grateful for.

 

“That’s Elsa. She’s clumsy, but never gets hurt, so don’t worry if that happens again.” He explains, “She’s owned this place since her father died. She runs the bakery by herself and is doing a hell of a job. Her cooking is amazing. She has one daughter that goes to university in Finland and was married once but quickly divorced the guy when he tried telling her what to do.”

 

“Are you talking about that no good fool I call my ex-husband?” Calls Elsa, carrying a tray of hot food to our table.

 

The Blonde chuckles, and gives a thanks as food is placed in front of him. “Yeah, just telling Cry all about you.”

 

Elsa rolls her eyes and sets a plate in front of me, I thank her and she nods and questions, “So what brings you here? Felix mentioned ‘neighbor’ so I’m assuming it’s more than a visit? School then?”

 

“Not exactly...I just needed a change of scenery.” I explain, and Elsa laughs.

 

“Well you’ve got it, Honey.” Elsa walks back into the kitchen and I take a bite of my food, and just as Felix promised, it does taste amazing.

 

The rest of the meal passes by without word from either of us, too absorbed in tasting every bite of the delicious meal, only interrupted when Elsa brings us water and refuses to take our money when we try to pay. “She’s loaded and loves me like a son. She won’t take my money and still continues to feed me every now and then, so I’ll gladly accept it.” Felix had remarked at the time.

 

“Bye Felix! Bye Cry! It was so nice to finally meet a friend of Felix’s. I swear the boy doesn’t have any!”

 

“Elsa,” whines the blonde, “I have friends...internet friends.” Elsa huffs and I thank her for the meal one more time. She shoos us off and we step outside into the slightly cool air.

 

“So where to next...? Hmm, oh! There’s a park with a small pond hat isn’t far away from here. I like to go and watch the ducks sometimes...how about that?” Felix asks, head tilted to the side.

 

“Alright, I need to get some clothes too.” Nodding, the blonde leads me to the park, which as he promised, wasn’t far at all, only a block or two.

 

The sun shining brightly as if yesterday’s storm never happened, we sit on a wooden bench next to the sparkling blue pond. To the right of us is a small playground occupied by a few children who bounce around happily, not a care in the world besides who gets to go on the slide next.

 

“Oh, there they are!” Felix motions towards the pond a little ways in front of us, pointing out the waddling creatures. A momma duck leading her babies to the water and I see the gamer smile. “Ducks are so cute.”

 

If there wasn’t something covering my face, Felix would have seen an amused expression cover it.

 

“Ah! Are you laughing at me?” Pouts the blonde, and my eyebrows rise. How could he know, even if I wasn’t doing it outright? “I can tell! You’re eyes are laughing Cry! Your eyes!”

 

Even though I’m shocked, for some reason his tone makes me even more amused, and I laugh. Even if it’s a small one. And by the shocked look on Felix’s face, it makes me laugh even more and I’m gripping my sides by the time I’m done.

 

We sit in silence as I catch my breath and Felix mutters, “That laugh...hah.”

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with my laugh Felix?”

 

“N-nothing.”

 

Letting it go, I look back to the playground; the smile slips from my face as I observe a little boy slip from the jungle gym. I’m about to get up to help him but a man who looks to be in his late teens runs to the boy and wraps him in his arms, searching for any injury. Felix and I aren’t that far away so I’m able to make out what they’re saying.

 

“Josh! Are you alright? Not hurt anywhere?” The man says, frantic.

 

The little boy has dirt smudged on his forehead and a bruise is already forming on his cheek as he replies, “I’m fine, Brother! I swear!”

 

The man doesn’t look convinced and brings the boy closer, letting the boy’s small head rest on his shoulder. I’m barely able to make out the next words as the man whispers, “There’s no need to act so tough, Josh. It’s okay to cry.”

 

Little shoulders shake and the man’s arms tighten around the small body reassuringly.

 

For some reason, my heart beats faster and the pain from earlier comes back tenfold. My vision blurs and I release a shaky breath. “W-what’s-huh?”

 

All the small noises from just a moment ago are gone, replaced by the ringing in my ears.

 

“Cry? Cry, are you alright?” It sounds as if Felix is miles away, and I feel the cold, November ground beneath me. Though I don’t recall how I got there. Glancing to the side, between black dots, I notice one of the baby ducks is being left behind all the others, too slow to catch up. Why isn’t his mom stopping? Why aren’t his brothers and sisters helping?

 

Beside me, my fingers twitch.

 

Out of nowhere another memory pounces on me.

 

**“It’s okay to cry.”**

 

And before the ringing stops and the abandoned duck disappears, the image of my Cry mask sitting on the desk with those terrifying eyes flashes through mind.

 

I realized the reason why I faltered; the reason why my heart sped up was because they were _my_ eyes.

 

_Mine._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
END CHAPTER THREE

 

 

*It’s true. Sweden is considered to be one of the best English speaking countries in the world, except where English is a native language.

**Pannkakor are Swedish Pancakes

 

AN: Also, I hope you guys know when I’m referring to _Cry_ and _cry._ There’s a difference. One’s an amazing youtuber and the other is something that happens. If that makes sense…

 

Anyways! Thanks for waiting so long! I hope it was worth the wait time!

 

Also, I don’t know when the next chapter will be out…hopefully sooner than 7 months…Yeah!

 

Iloveyou.           (Art from Kiwa007)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> AN  
> To let you guys know, I will try with every fiber in my being, to not make this story cliche. And, in my fanfiction, PewdDiePie does not have a girlfriend and Marzia doesn't even exist. I don't like her(eww) so she will never show up in any of my PewdieCry fics.
> 
> Cry does not post videos on youtube in this either.
> 
> Once again PLEASE let me know what you think by reviewing. I lose interest things fast so if people don't let me know I should continue, I won't.


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